Boundaries

One thing I learned from personal counseling was the importance of boundaries. Setting boundaries in your life is a really crucial act in preserving your health and establishing godly relationships. When boundaries aren't respected things start falling apart.

An example would be knowing when to say 'yes' and when to say 'no'. If you're the kind of person who can't say 'no' to people because you're afraid of disappointing them sooner or later you'll be spread so thin your joy in life will dissipate. Equally so, if you say 'no' to most things you may need to consider broadening your boundaries, especially if you experience feelings of isolation and loneliness.

I was a 'yes' to everything person. Being a recovering people-pleaser, I quickly learned saying 'yes' to everything meant a very angry, resentful Hilary. It took time to set reasonable boundaries, but the effort was well worth it.

One challenge remains...even though I know my boundaries and accept them, others have yet to catch up with me. There will always be people who don't know how to respect your boundaries. This can be stressful and frustrating. For me, I struggle to understand why people cannot take my 'no'. I get especially upset when they press in and push to try to make me do things I don't want to do.

I've got to come to a place where I can honor my boundaries and forgive those who don't. Not everyone understands this concept of respecting another's limitations in life. And until they do, which may be never, it's our responsibility to give them the grace to fail at loving us.

Oh Lord, won't you come and help us love and forgive. Give us the freedom to be our authentic selves and love others in the process.