Boundaries

One thing I learned from personal counseling was the importance of boundaries. Setting boundaries in your life is a really crucial act in preserving your health and establishing godly relationships. When boundaries aren't respected things start falling apart.

An example would be knowing when to say 'yes' and when to say 'no'. If you're the kind of person who can't say 'no' to people because you're afraid of disappointing them sooner or later you'll be spread so thin your joy in life will dissipate. Equally so, if you say 'no' to most things you may need to consider broadening your boundaries, especially if you experience feelings of isolation and loneliness.

I was a 'yes' to everything person. Being a recovering people-pleaser, I quickly learned saying 'yes' to everything meant a very angry, resentful Hilary. It took time to set reasonable boundaries, but the effort was well worth it.

One challenge remains...even though I know my boundaries and accept them, others have yet to catch up with me. There will always be people who don't know how to respect your boundaries. This can be stressful and frustrating. For me, I struggle to understand why people cannot take my 'no'. I get especially upset when they press in and push to try to make me do things I don't want to do.

I've got to come to a place where I can honor my boundaries and forgive those who don't. Not everyone understands this concept of respecting another's limitations in life. And until they do, which may be never, it's our responsibility to give them the grace to fail at loving us.

Oh Lord, won't you come and help us love and forgive. Give us the freedom to be our authentic selves and love others in the process.

A New Year

I'm starting to read Donald Miller's latest book, 'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years' and I'm reflecting on his comment about sitting with God at the end of our lives and having a conversation with Him. What will we say? Will God be pleased with how we lived and loved? What will we have done with our lives?

As most people do at the new year, I've been thinking about my life and where I'm headed and most importantly what my heart's intent in life is. I realized that for the first time in my 30 years on this earth I can genuinely say I'm at peace with today and tomorrow and ultimately with this much-anticipated reunion with my Creator God.

Lovestruck and broken for Him. That's what I'll be. Lovestruck because He has won my heart and I'm head over heels in love with Jesus. And I know I'll be broken. Broken of my selfishness, vanity, critical heart, anxieties, pride and whatever else plagues my tender, fleshy, palpitating heart.

So this year and in the years to come my pursuit is the same: intimacy with the One who calls us His Beloved.